Wasteland Cram Cakes (a.k.a. Spam Cakes Done Right)

Just because it’s the end of the world doesn’t mean we have to eat like animals. Today, I’m making Cram Cakes — Fallout-style — with Spam, potatoes, and bacon. It's crispy, comforting, and honestly? The best way I’ve ever had Spam. Let’s get cookin', Wasteland-style

“A rare pre-War treat, if you know how to cook it.”

🍳 Ingredients:

For the Cram Cakes:

1 can of Spam (or any canned meat substitute — aka “Cram”)

1 large potato, peeled and grated

3 strips of bacon, cooked and crumbled

2–3 tablespoons mayo

1 tablespoon yellow mustard

1 teaspoon mustard powder

1 teaspoon dried basil

1 teaspoon steak sauce

Cracked black pepper to taste

1 egg

A few dashes of hot sauce (to taste)

Breadcrumbs or crushed crackers (for coating)

Oil for frying

To Serve:

Kale or mixed greens

Fresh lemon juice

Tartar sauce (custom or store-bought)

Directions:

1. Prepare the Meat & Veggies

Dice the Spam finely (or pulse in a food processor for extra fine texture).

Grate the potato and squeeze out excess moisture with a clean towel.

Mix both in a bowl with crumbled bacon.

2. Mix the Binder Sauce

In a separate bowl, whisk together: mayo, mustard, mustard powder, basil, steak sauce, black pepper, egg, and hot sauce.

Pour over the Spam-potato-bacon mixture and combine thoroughly.

3. Portion & Freeze

Scoop into patties (around 2–3 inches wide).

Place on a tray and freeze for 20–30 minutes, just until firm. This helps hold their shape when frying.

4. Bread & Fry

Coat both sides in breadcrumbs or crushed crackers.

Fry in oil over medium heat until both sides are golden brown and crispy — about 3–4 minutes per side.

5. Plate Like a Pro

Toss kale with lemon juice and a pinch of salt. Spread it on the plate.

Set the Cram Cakes on top and add a generous dollop of tartar sauce (custom or store-bought).

Notes from the Vault:

This was my first time ever having Spam, and it was hands-down the best way to try it. Crispy outside, flavorful inside — rich, savory, and straight-up comfort food. Would 100% survive the Wasteland with these in my inventory.